A few Sundays ago, I listened to the parable of the ten bridesmaids as it was read in mass. The message to “be prepared” came through loud and clear. On that particular Sunday, though, this gospel reading took on a very different twist. You see, three days prior, my father had passed away at the age of 100. He had lived at home rather independently (with some daily support) up until 12 days … [Read more...]
Why The Older I Get The More I Look to God
I have to be honest. After 25 years, the pressures and strain of raising a child with complex disabilities have never gone away. They’re not always top of mind but they remain, nonetheless. Most of the time, these pressures don’t bother me since they’re just a part of my life. But I’m finding that the older I get, the harder life gets. Life isn’t supposed to get harder as you get older. It’s … [Read more...]
Don’t Ever, Ever Think You Walk Alone
I remember my father once telling me, “It’s dangerous to live.” What he meant was that life is full of risks and dangers and that if we are constantly worried about those risks and dangers, then we’re not really living. I’ve often recounted this quote whenever a therapist overplayed the safety card with Ben – you know, when they say it wouldn’t be safe to transfer Ben into his walker or … [Read more...]
Learn to Walk the Steps That Jesus Has Traced
My natural tendency is to push through any obstacle that comes my way. To analyse it to death. Develop a plan and then do what needs to be done. Or at least what I think needs to be done. If I can figure out the next steps, then I feel confident. Over the last few months, I was balancing a lot: An intense, full-time IT project management job, where the hours are anything but … [Read more...]
The Email I Would Have Written Myself the Day Before Ben Was Born
Somewhere over the last 24 years, I lost the yearning to dream about what life would be like had Ben been born without complex physical and communication challenges. There was a period when I constantly wanted to press the rewind button to return to a simpler time, to before Ben was part of our world, so I could understand what I’d done so terribly wrong to deserve the burden of raising a child … [Read more...]
Commitment Is Such a Lonely Word
One of my favorite Billy Joel songs is “Honesty.” Though it was written nearly 40 years ago, it still is relevant today. If you’ve never heard it, the theme relates to how honesty is such a lonely word, that everyone (well, most everyone) is so untrue. In our world, where we rely on so many people to support Ben’s care and development, honesty can be a problem. Mostly, it’s the small things … [Read more...]